I’ve had several people ask me when I plan on moving out. I think most teenagers are expected to graduate, move out, and go to college when they turn 18. But here I am, at 19, a 2012 graduate, still living at home. Is there something wrong with this picture? Or is there something wrong with the mentality of 18-and-leave?
I will be honest, moving out doesn’t seem like an absolutely horrible idea. I’d get to make my own schedules and my own rules. (And before you go jumping to the conclusion that just by that statement, I’m some rebellious child, I say those thoughts in complete respect and honor of my parents.) While moving out doesn’t seem like such a horrible thing, at the same time, living at home has so many benefits.
I have decided to continue living at home while I’m single merely because of the fact that I love my home. My parents love each other and that love has poured over into making the house we live in a home. Whenever I’m away, even if it’s just for the day while I’m at work, the thought of going home at the end of it makes me happy. I get to take a shower, sleep in my own bed, wash my clothes in our own washer and dryer, and know for certain that there will always be food when I’m hungry. My parents have rules – most of which I have no problem abiding by. Sure, we don’t see eye to eye on everything. Who does? But they have instilled in me the Biblical command of obeying and honoring them since I was a wee thing, and since growing older and being able to actually understand what that meant has proved to be challenging and rewarding. My parents are fabulous too because they don’t lord themselves over me, commanding me to do this, demanding me to do that. Instead, as I’ve become an adult, they have graciously and patiently asked me or told me their opinion, instead of instructing me. “No, Raquel, we’d rather you not go see that movie.” “No, we’d prefer if you stayed home tonight.” Wording things this way gives me the choice whether or not I can or will do something. And let me tell you, I love and respect my parents enough that if doing something they’d ‘prefer I not do’, I don’t have as much happiness and fun in whatever it is I’m doing.
Still living at home doesn’t mean I think I’m incapable of living on my own, providing for myself, that I’m not responsible or hard-working. It’s been a choice of mine. And of course my family has had a bit of an impact in telling me how much they’d miss me if I ever did move out. At home, I am surrounded by ones who love me. And being such a people-person, living on my own, as a single young woman, would be difficult cuz I’d get lonely very quickly. Haha
Living at home is much more affordable too. I don’t have to worry about paying taxes or rent or household bills.
Living at home gives me time and availability for ministering needs and daily life events that I couldn’t otherwise do if I lived on my own. Our family home is constantly buzzing with activity, people visiting, spending the night, coming and going. And living at home has given me many opportunities to practice hosting. And my Mama is one of the best teachers.
God has placed my parents in my life as my protectors, mentors, guardians, and the ones in authority over me. People are quick to take that as the evil ogre picture of parents beating children into submission because they’re ‘above’ them in authority. But no. Like I explained above, my parents are fabulous, kind, patient, and very fair people. And I have accepted them as the ones God has placed in my life above me, ones who I am commanded to honor and respect – not by them, but by God. Honoring authority comes from loving whoever is in authority above you. I love my God, therefore I want to obey and honor Him. The same is with my parents. Because I love them, and they love me, I want to show them my honor and respect and gratitude by doing as they ask, acting upon what they would have me do.
And living at home is one of those ways I can do that.